


Too Tired

by fandomramblings



Series: Season 3 Malex [3]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Brotp, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25563028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomramblings/pseuds/fandomramblings
Summary: Isobel tries to talk to a frustrated Michael about his renewed feelings for Alex and has a hard time getting him to open up.
Relationships: Isabel Evans & Michael Guerin, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Season 3 Malex [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838704
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	Too Tired

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a bit of a bummer and was hard to write. Making sense of Alex's thoughts in the last part was easy, but I struggled a lot with Michael. Maybe because he wasn't ready to talk. I felt a lot like Isobel as I struggled to make sense of his thoughts so I'm left uneasy, just like the characters. We'll just have to see where it goes from here. I'm excited for the next part though, where Isobel and Liz try to figure out how to help Malex out. And honestly, I need their help too.

Fuck. They were talking about him right now. Michael could just see it. Alex complaining to Liz about how Michael was way out of line and how was he gonna tell Forrest? And Liz would tell him to forget about Michael, who was a selfish ass just like his brother who couldn’t make up his mind and that Forrest would be much better for him and he should keep dating him and the both of them would forget about aliens forever.

“What did that carburetor ever do to you?”

Michael looked up as he yanked a bent piece of metal out of the truck engine and tossed it with excessive force onto the dusty concrete. Isobel was standing near the shelving unit with a hand on her hip and rocking an impressive smokey eye look.

“Rusted through.” He grumbled and dove back into the engine. “Needs to be replaced.”

“You know Max’s attitude with Liz being back mixed with whatever the hell is going on with you is adding up to one big harsh on my vibe.” His sister said, approaching the truck that Michael was busy unscrewing another rusted part from. 

“Hate to break it to you Iz, but Max is just the same whiny literature buff that he’s always been.”

“Maybe,” she shrugged, “But you have been doing so much better lately. Accepting everything with Sanders, letting Alex go, dealing with your break up with Maria. I’m proud of you. You even cleared out you’re creepy alien layer.”

“The stuff’s just in storage.” He muttered, pulling the other part loose.

“Whatever. Your spending less time down there regardless. Michael, would you at least look at me!”

With the slight stomp of Isobel’s foot, Michael finally looked up and pulled off his gloves, leaning against the edge of the truck and sighing.

“It’s nearly 9:00. Dinner?” Isobel said, running a hand through her ponytail.

That immediately reminded him of Alex. ‘Yeah, running into him and Liz at the Crashdown would be awesome!’ he thought sarcastically. If only there were any other decent places in Roswell to get a meal.

“Ate.” He said.

“Right,” Isobel said, unconvinced. “Come on Michael, I have pork defrosted at my house.”

“No thanks, Iz. I’m good,” he insisted. Was being left alone to tear apart an old truck too much to ask. He knew what she was trying to do, get him sitting and talking. Two things Michael did not want to do. He would rather pace and grumble.

“That’s alright. I should eat less meat.” Iz said and plopped down in one of the old chairs.

Michael groaned. With that Iz had made her decision clear, and Michael was too tired to fight her on it. Just too tired. He sat down in a chair across from her and they sat in silence. Iz had been going to therapy recently and must have picked up a thing or two because she gazed at him calmly for a full ten minutes as he slowly nursed a beer from the cooler that he kept by the Airstream. Eventually, Michael gave in, because let's be honest, Iz would never be the first to cave. He only had two options at this point. He could storm off, and he was trying to do that less since Iz had pointed out that it was poor manners. She had never looked more like Ann Evans than she had in that moment. Second, he could hunker down and get this over with. The old Michael would have gone with the former. But it was the latter now. If this was what progress with patience and level-headedness looked like than he wasn’t so sure about what he’d been doing these past weeks. 

He took a long look out at the darkening of the quiet New Mexico sky and then set his beer down in the dirt. 

“It’s a nice night.” He said, not knowing where to begin. Isobel nodded. Still not speaking, but her small smile was clear, ‘take your time’.

Michael scratched at the back of his neck as he tried to think of what to start with. He decided on the beginning.

“I kissed Alex Manes today.”

Isobel’s eyes widened. “Okay Michael, uh not what I expected actually.”

“Really? You were expecting something Mr. Jones related.” He grumbled.

“Don’t remind me,” Isobel said, looking unsettled for the first time that night. She had taken evil Max pretty hard and had confided in Michael last week that he reminded her of Noah.

“Oh I see, so my boy problems are just a distraction for you.” He deadpanned, then cringed at himself. He was also trying to stop finding slights where there weren’t any.

“Believe it or not Michael. I care about you because you’re my brother and I love you and for no other ulterior reason.” Isobel said sternly.

Michael resisted the urge to tell her that she wasn’t really his sister. He knew that didn’t matter to her and it didn’t to him either really. The impulse to push her away was still there, so really not much had changed between them with that particular revelation.

“So, Alex Manes. I had been wondering what was going on with that, but I didn’t want to pry.” She said, her voice soft again.

“I blame the elevator,” Michael said. Isobel looked at him oddly and waited for him to explain. After he told her everything that had happened at the hospital she took a deep breath and then pierced him with her green eyes.

“That might have been the wrong move, to be honest, Michael.”

“Ug. Don’t you think I know that but I’ve been feeling things for him again lately and it kind of just happened. And I just know he’s told Liz about it and I’m pretty sure she’ll chew me out later so I wouldn’t bother.”

“If I wanted to yell at you I would have. So it just happened then, but you made the move right?” Iz said, smiling sadly.

“Habit?” Michael tried. She rolled her eyes. 

“What happened to you giving him time? What happened to your plan to walk away for now?”

“I know. I know.” Michael growled, getting up and starting to pace, his boots kicking up the dust into the darkness.

“And I will. It won’t happen again. I just have to do a better job of avoiding him!”

“It’s Roswell Michael. How well do you expect that to work?” Iz said, remaining calm and seated as Michael continued to pace.

“I don’t know. Ug. It almost makes me wish that Forrest was back, at least with him here I have a built-in wall between the two of us.”

“He’s gone?” Iz asked.

“Yeah. Alex said he’s off visiting a relative or something.”

“Don’t all his relatives live here? It’s not like the Long’s are the worldly type.” She said.

Michael shrugged. “I don’t know Iz.” The subject change had calmed his nerves a bit and he sat back down with a huff.

“So you like that Alex’s is dating him? Really?” Iz said after a minute.

“Like it? Ha.” Michael let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Yeah. Like I’m sure he liked Maria dating me. But he never said anything, not even when…” he stopped, Iz didn’t need to know about that. “Even when I first told him about her,” he said to cover. “So I can’t be the one to put up a stink.”

“Well, you’re never gonna be as level-headed as Alex Manes that’s for sure. But you _can_ talk to him you know. Did he kiss you back?”

Michael looked at her and scrunched up his nose. “Actually, yeah… he did.”

“Interesting,” Iz said, that was all, just interesting. Michael was frustrated with her again despite himself. 

“Why’d you run out then?” she asked. “What is Alex supposed to think? He’s not a mind reader Michael. Maybe if you talked to him.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me. Things were casual enough in the elevator starting out, but after this…”

“Ah, so you’re a mind reader now too,” Iz grumbled. “Why is everyone trying to move in on my special skills?”

Once again Michael resisted the urge to correct her that she wasn’t technically a mind reader. He didn’t have to read Alex’s mind to know what he thought. He made it pretty clear when Michael had reached out to touch his leg that that part of their relationship was over. His brain tried to supply him with some choice song lyrics but he ignored it. The kiss was a fluke. Alex was just caught off guard. That was all. Kissing Michael back was just an instinct. He was with Forrest now.

“You’re thinking so loudly it’s making my head hurt,” Iz said. “What’s the point of having this conversation if I have to scrape and claw for every word I get out of you?”

“It’s fine. I’m just gonna go back to the original plan.” Michael said. He had thought he was being quite forthcoming but he could feel himself closing off again now. He got up and headed to the trailed. He had just reached the door when Isobel’s hand closed over his wrist.

“Uh, uh,” she tutted. “Sit back down Michael. I’m not done with you yet.”

“Iz. I’m tired.” He said. Talking to her was a mistake. He already knew what she’d say. Apologize to Alex and tell him he should be with Forrest. Try to move on. He didn’t want to hear it. Deep down he knew he couldn’t do what she wanted. He was still in love with Alex and that was that. The only solution would be to avoid him completely. Suffering in silence was his new thing after all. Old Michael drank and punched and yelled. Not anymore. Old Michael tried as hard as he could to drive everyone away. It had worked with Alex. It took ten years apart and two back together again but he had finally done it. Driven the man away. One kiss wasn’t going to change that. Talking wasn’t either. If he wanted them to find there way back to each other one day the only option was to leave Alex alone completely. Being around him only created more chances for Michael to mess up. Didn’t the elevator prove exactly that?! He couldn’t tell Alex how he felt again. It didn’t work that way. They weren’t teenagers anymore and any charm that Michael still had didn’t work on Alex. Not anymore.

“Thinking loudly again,” Iz said, tugging on Michael’s arm, who continued to resist her.

“Get off Isobel!” he said, shoving her shoulder and causing her to stumble backward and drop Michael’s arm. She stood there in the dark, staring at him.

“Michael,” was all she said, but he immediately felt guilty.

“I’m sorry Iz I…”

“No. It’s okay. I was being too pushy.”

“No!” Michael pinched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He didn’t know what had gotten into him. His head was just so loud. It had been getting louder and louder ever since he’d left the hospital. “I just… I’m sorry Iz. I’m just so mad at myself. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Please just sit back down and talk to me Michael okay. I’ll be quiet and just listen this time, promise.” Isobel said, walking towards him again. 

After sitting for a while and calming down Michael did as she asked and talked. He told her about everything, starting at the UFO Emporium and moving forward. Some of it he had never told anyone before. He told her about all the times Alex had walked away. All the times that Michael had yelled at him, told him they weren’t right for each other. He told her about trying to make things work with Maria. About just beginning to feel like he could love her in the way he so badly wanted to when things had gone down with Alex going missing. He told her about all the things he yelled at Jesse Manes in that stupid warehouse, and about what Greg had said at Crash Con and about how he and Alex destroyed the shed. When he finally stopped for a breath Iz was staring at him with a look of shock.

“Max, uh, told me a little about what happened with your hand Michael but I didn’t know it was so… Geez. I’m sorry. Did you mean what you said?”

“Which thing?” Michael asked, “I kind of just filled you in on 13 years of my life.”

“About Alex being past you,” she said. Michael blinked. Of all the things for her to focus on.

“Yeah,” he said nodding. I mean wasn’t he? Alex was off in a relationship and Michael was still where he always was, tearing apart cars and trying anything he could think of to quiet his head.

“You should tell him that. You should tell him what you told me.” Isobel said after a while. “Tell him everything.”

Michael stared at her in shock. Was she insane?!

“That’ll make everything worse Isobel. He won’t understand. It’ll just freak him out.”

Iz remained calm. “I don’t think so, Michael. The whole alien thing and the Rosa situation is already out of the way and he reacted pretty well to that. The rest of it is all just run-of-the-mill drama. I’m serious Michael. I think you should lay it all out there. Give Alex all the information and then let him decide.”

“Decide what!” Michael said and he sounded a little hysterical.

“If he wants you to come home,” Iz said. Those damn lyrics again. He couldn’t ignore them when they were coming out of her mouth. Why’d she have to bring up the song!?

“They’re just lyrics Iz. He wasn’t really asking me…”

“I think he was,” Iz said, reaching out and laying a hand on Michael’s forearm. “If you tell him all you’ve told me, Michael, I bet you that’s all that Alex really wants. To understand how you feel and for you to understand how _he_ feels. Meet in the middle. It’s what we all want Michael. Someone to share everything with. I think you have to take this chance. Put it all out on the line.”

“I can’t Isobel.” Michael sounded pathetic, and to top it all off, he could feel tears forming in his eyes. He put his head in his hands, raking his fingers through the curls and trying and failing to hold back the tears.

Isobel’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and she pulled him to her as his shoulders shook with silent sobs.

“You said it yourself, leaving him alone wasn’t working. You don’t want him to be with Forrest. You want you and him to start a new story when it’s the right time. Well, the right time is now Michael. You’re miserable and I don’t like seeing you like this. Everything you went through in the past year. You’re stronger now. You’re ready to go home to him.”

Michael wished that her words were true, but he just didn’t feel it. She told him that he couldn’t know what Alex was thinking and yet she expected him to tell Alex what he wanted and let the other man decide their fate. The thought of it was paralyzing. Michael didn’t respond to his sister, he just cried against her shoulder until there were no more tears left. The day felt like it had lasted a week. He didn’t want to think about Alex anymore. It just hurt too much. He just wanted to sleep.

Slowly he got up and rubbed at his eyes. Isobel watched somberly as he stumbled to the trailer. She followed him and when he turned in the Airstream doorway to look at her she was looking at him with such sweetness and love he could barely stand it. He knew she was only trying to help, but he didn’t deserve her. Besides, this was something not even Iz could fix.

“I can’t put it all out there Iz,” he said. “I won’t survive it.”

“You will Michael. You _have_ to take this chance.” she pleaded. 

Michael shook his head. “I’m sorry Iz.” 

With that, he closed the trailer door and was gone.

***

Isobel stood outside the Airstream for a few moments and let herself be sad for Michael. Then she squared her shoulders and headed for her car. This just wouldn’t do. If Michael wasn’t going to take the steps to help himself then she would just have to give him and Alex a little push. 

She needed to talk to Liz Ortecho.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want more of my emotionally constipated writing stay tuned. Kudos and Comments welcome. In the meantime, follow me on Tumblr at malex-art. My newest hiatus obsession... The Old Gaurd!


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